Library › St John of Kronstadt › My Life in Christ

My Life in Christ

St John of Kronstadt, tr. Goulaeff, 1897

Part 1, 9. pp. 161–180

How often it happens in life that a man has one thing in his heart and another upon his lips, and wears two faces at one and the same time! It is thus also during prayer, before God Himself, Who knows the secrets of the heart; a man also frequently wears two faces, saying one thing and having another in his heart and thoughts. If, which happens still oftener, when saying a prayer, although he understands it and thinks about it, he does not sympathise in his heart with that which he is saying — being dead, and thus throwing the words to the air — then he deceives himself if he believes that he can please God by such a prayer. This is strange, sinful duplicity! It is a bitter fruit and evidence of our fall into sin. It seems habitual to our heart to lie in prayer and in our intercourse with other men. The heart is a pillar of falsehood. “All men are liars.”¹ The Christian must make use of every means in order to eradicate every falsehood from his heart, and to implant pure truth within it. We must begin with prayer, as with a matter in which truth is indispensable before everything, in accordance with the Lord’s own words: “Worship Him in spirit and in truth.”² Speak the truth from your heart.³ When we have learnt to speak the truth from our heart during prayer, we shall not allow ourselves to lie in our everyday life: sincere, true prayer, having cleansed our heart from falsehood, will protect it against falsehood in our relations with other men in worldly matters. How can we teach ourselves to speak the truth from our heart during prayer? We must bring every word of the prayer down to our heart, lay it to heart, feel its truth in our heart, be convinced of all our need of that for which we ask God in prayer, or of the need of hearty gratitude for His great and innumerable benefits to us, and of most heartfelt praise for His great, most wise works in His creation.

Everything that constitutes me man (the soul), lives solely by God, and only in union with Him, whilst when the soul separates itself from God, then it experiences extreme distress. But the life of my soul consists in the peace of my spiritual powers, and this peace proceeds exclusively from God. There is, it is true, carnal peace also, but it is a delusive one — the forerunner of spiritual storm — of which the Lord says: “When they shall say (to men), Peace and safety, then suddenly destruction cometh upon them”;⁴ but spiritual peace, which proceeds from the Spirit of God differs, as heaven from earth, from such carnal peace. It is heavenly blissgiving. “Peace I give you,” often said the Lord to His disciples, giving them His peace, and the Apostles also gave “peace to believers,” and wished them God’s peace as the highest blessing, because God’s peace constitutes the life of our soul, and witnesses to the union of our soul with God. The absence of peace in the soul — disturbance, by which all the passionate conditions of our soul are distinguished — is spiritual death and the sign of the action of the enemy of our salvation in our hearts.

Faith is the key of God’s treasury. She dwells in simple, kind, loving hearts. “All things are possible to him that believeth.”⁵ Faith is a spiritual mouth, the more freely it opens the greater the stream by which the Divine springs enter into it; let this mouth freely open, as your bodily one does; do not let your lips be compressed by doubt and unbelief: if you compress them by doubt and unbelief, the treasury of God’s blessings will be closed to you. The more openly, the more heartily you believe in God’s omnipotence, the more bountifully will God’s heart be opened to you. “What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them and ye shall have them.”⁶

All men are the breath and the creation of the One God — from God they have come forth, and to God, as to their origin, they will return: “Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was; and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.”⁷ “That by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.”⁸ As the breath of the One God, and as having proceeded from one man, men ought, naturally, to live in mutual love, mutually caring for one another, and ought not to be divided from each other by selfishness, pride, malice, envy, avarice, or unsociability of character, “that they may be one.”⁹ Look at the ants, how friendly they are; look at the bees, how friendly they are; look at the flights of pigeons, daws, rooks, crows, geese, ducks, swans, sparrows, how friendly they all are; look at a flock of sheep, and in general at any horned cattle, how friendly they all are. Think of the innumerable shoals of some sorts of fishes in the seas and rivers, which always like to move in shoals, how friendly they are. Think also how zealously they all take care of each other, help each other, love each other — and be shamed by the dumb creatures, you who do not live in love with others and flee from the obligation of bearing one another’s burdens.¹⁰

God is long-suffering and merciful to you: this you experience many times every day. Be long-suffering and merciful to your brethren, also fulfilling the words of the Apostle, who thus speaks of charity before everything: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind.”¹¹ You desire that the Lord should rejoice you by His love, rejoice on your part the hearts of others by your tender love and kindness.

God is love, a most-gracious, all-wise and omnipotent Being. Therefore, those who pray must believe that the Lord will give all things needful, bountifully, as He is loving, and bountiful wisely, as He is All-wise; and as He is omnipotent, there and then, when we do not expect.

During Divine service, during the celebration of all the sacraments and prayers, be trustful, as a child in relation to his parents. Remember what great Fathers of the Church, what inspired luminaries, enlightened by the Holy Ghost, are guiding you! Be simple, trustful, undoubting as a child in godly matters. Cast all your care upon the Lord, and be entirely free from sorrow. “Take no thought how or what ye shall speak, for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father, which speaketh in you.”¹² The Lord has long ago freed us from this care, this sorrow, having taught our God-fearing Fathers by His Spirit, what to say and how to pray to the Lord at Divine service, at the celebration of the sacraments and upon various other occasions and circumstances of human life, requiring prayer to bring down a blessing from above. It ought to be easy for us to pray. Only the enemy troubles us. But what matters his troubling if our heart is firmly established in the Lord! It is only a misfortune if we do not rest in God; if there is no firm faith in us, if we have bound ourselves by worldly attachments, if our intellect is proud and presumptuous, then, even in the most holy, most pure matter of service, at the celebration and communion of the Holy Mysteries, the enemy will greatly hinder us.

Be as kind, meek, humble, and simple as possible in your intercourse with all, considering yourself not hypocritically inferior to all in respect to your spiritual condition; that is, more sinful and weaker than all. Say to yourself, “Of all sinners I am the first.” From pride proceeds self-sufficiency, coldness, and insincerity in our behaviour to our inferiors, or to those from whom we do not expect to obtain any advantage.

How quick we are to evil and how slow to good! Now I desire to do good to my enemy, and to really show him kindness, but before I succeed in becoming kind in my heart, I am already evil, a fiery arrow of evil already inwardly burns one; I wish to be patient, but before I have strengthened my heart in patience, I become irritable, impatient; I wish to be humble, but Satan’s pride has already found ample room in my heart; I wish to be gracious, meanwhile, when it is necessary to show graciousness, I show myself rough; I wish to be unmercenary and generous, but cupidity and avarice, upon the least occasion, like hungry and roaring lions, require to be fed; I wish to be simple, trustful, but cunning and doubt already gnaw at my heart; I wish to be grave, concentrated, and reverent in my service to the Almighty, but light-mindedness and inattention of the heart prevent my becoming so; I wish to detach myself from earthly things, to be abstinent in food and drink, but when I see pleasant food and drink and sit down to table, I, like a slave, am taken a willing captive by my belly, I easily allow myself to eat and drink more than my nature requires, greediness and intemperance again prevent and get the better of my desire to be indifferent to food and drink, thus I am like that impotent man who lay for thirty-eight years upon his bed, and came many times to the pool of Bethesda, which made whole whosoever first stepped in after the troubling of the water by an Angel, “but always another stepped down before him.”¹³ And when I, having become impotent through my sins, make an effort and come to myself, with the intention of immersing myself in God and of changing for the better, another steppeth into my heart before me, sin and the Devil forestal me in my own house, in my own pool of Bethesda, and do not allow me to reach the Source of living waters, the Lord — do not allow me to immerse myself in the cleansing pool of faith, humility, heart-felt contrition and tears. Who will heal me then? Jesus Christ alone. When He sees my sincere and firm desire to be healed of my spiritual infirmity, when He hears my fervent prayer, then He will say to me: “Take up thy bed and walk,”¹⁴ and I shall rise from the bed of spiritual infirmity and walk; that is, by His grace I shall easily vanquish all my passions and fulfil every virtue.

During prayer, intentional, deliberate, extreme humility is indispensable. We must remember, who speaks and what he says, this is especially necessary during the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father...” Humility destroys all the snares of the enemy. Ah! how much secret pride there is in us. This, we say, I know; this I do not need; this is not for me; this is superfluous; in that I am not a sinner. How much sophistry of our own!

When you pray, say in your heart, against the various thoughts and provocations that come from the enemy: “The Lord is everything to me.” Likewise, during all your life, when passions attack you, and during every oppression of the enemy, and during sickness, afflictions, misfortunes, and disasters, say: “The Lord is everything to me; I myself can do nothing — cannot bear anything, cannot surmount, conquer anything —He is my strength.”

“Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of Me and of My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed.”¹⁵ O contemptible shame! O devilish shame! O stink of Satan’s ascending from the well of the abyss! How many are diseased with it? How many do not recognise its enticement and become enslaved by it, to the ruin of their souls? Look at worldly writers, journalists — writers of feuilletons. They write, write, write.... of what will they not write during their literary career? But of God, of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, of the Church, of Divine service, of the Christian festivals, of the resurrection of our body, of the judgment, of the life beyond the grave — they do not even make mention. They say it is not their province, not their business. We are of the world, we speak of worldly matters, and therefore the world listens to us; but if we were to speak of God, perhaps nobody would read what we write. Thus worldly literature is completely foreign to the spirit of Christianity, it even seems to be ashamed of the spirit of Christ.

The Devil cunningly induces us — instead of irritating us against himself — to notice our neighbours’ sins, to make us spiteful and angry with others, and to awaken our contempt towards them, thus keeping us in enmity with our neighbours, and with the Lord God Himself. Therefore, we must despise the sins, the faults themselves, and not our brother who commits them at the Devil’s instigation, through infirmity and habit; we must pity him, and gently and lovingly instruct him, as one who forgets himself, or who is sick, as a prisoner and the slave of his sin. But our animosity, our anger towards the sinner only increases his sickness, oblivion, and spiritual bondage, instead of lessening them; besides this, it makes us ourselves like madmen, or sick men, the prisoners of our own passions, and of the Devil, who is the author of them.

Every sin proceeds from the spirit of evil; he who sins is the slave of sin, is tortured by sin; therefore, do not be too severe, but be gentle with him who sins, knowing our common infirmity. Pity the sinner, as one who is sick, or who has lost his way, and is walking in darkness, or as one who is bound with iron fetters, as one whose mind is deranged; for all these qualities may be attributed to a sinner, or to one who is under the dominion of some passion. It is necessary to watch over such a man in every way, so that the fire of sin should not burn him, should not darken him, should not bind him, should not plunge him into sickness, should not destroy him.

We are accustomed to the works of God, and therefore value them but little; we do not, for instance, value even man as we ought to — that greatest work and miracle of God’s omnipotence and grace. Look upon every man, whether he is one of your household, or a stranger to you, as upon something perpetually new in God’s world, as upon the greatest miracle of God’s omnipotence and grace, and do not let the fact of your being accustomed to him serve as a reason for you to neglect him. Esteem and love him, as your own self, constantly, and unchangeably.

Sometimes in nature a warm, healthful wind blows, pleasantly and lightly, permeating and coming in contact with the body, and the sky is serene; whilst at other times a cold wind blows, one feels, somehow, distressed and feverish, the wind pierces to the very bones and affects the body unpleasantly, the earth and sky are darkened; or else sometimes the state of the atmosphere is warm and warmth-giving, and at other times cold, benumbing. It is likewise in the spiritual life: sometimes our soul is surrounded and penetrated by a light, pleasant, warmth-giving, vivifying breath, we feel ourselves happy and tranquil; whilst at others our heart is touched by a heavy, deathly breath, accompanied by complete spiritual darkness. The first state proceeds from the Spirit of God, the second from the Devil. It is necessary to accustom ourselves to everything: as in the first case, not to grow self-conceited, so in the last, not to fall into despondency, into despair, but to fervently have recourse to God.

If men had not been created according to the image of God, the Lord would not have been incarnate of the most holy Virgin. O how our nature is raised, both in its creation and in its redemption! Through the incarnation of the Son of God from the most holy Virgin Mary, God has most truly united Himself with men. “O Thou, by Thy glorious birth-giving hast united God-the-Word with men, and linked our apostate nature with heavenly things.”¹⁶ Glory to Thee, Who art meetly praised by every reasonable creature, for Thou hast obtained from God such grace and purity that Thou wert able, through favour of God the Father, by the operation of the Holy Ghost, to give flesh to the Son of God! Make us also worthy, O Lord, to attain purity of spirit and body through the communion of the Divine Mysteries of the Body and Blood of Thy Son.

Through His incarnation the Lord has entered into the closest relation with man. It is marvellous! God Himself is united in one person with man, God became flesh — “the Word was made flesh.”¹⁷ God Himself partook of our carnal food and drink, was laid in a manger, lived in a house. He Who cannot be contained by the heavens walked upon the earth, upon the waters, upon the air, “He went up,” it is said, “toward heaven.”¹⁸ He was nailed to the tree, “He Who hangeth the earth upon nothing by His command.”¹⁹ The whole earth, the waters, and the air— all are sanctified by the incarnate Son of God; therefore the earth is dear to Him — this temporary abode of men, this inn of the human race, this place of His habitation amongst men. But especially dear to Him are men themselves, whose souls and bodies He has received into unity with His own Person, and especially with true Christians. He is in them, and they in Him.

What is above all desirable for man? The avoidance of sin, the remission and forgiveness of sins and the attainment of holiness. Wherefore? Because sins, such as, for instance, pride, evil behaviour towards our neighbours, wicked suspiciousness, covetousness, avarice, envy, etc., separate us from God, the Source of life, withdraw us from fellowship with other men, and plunge us into spiritual death; whilst gentle, humble, and kind behaviour to all, even to our enemies, simplicity, disinterestedness, contentedness with little and with the indispensable, generosity to everyone, goodwill and all other virtuous qualities, unite us to God, the Source of life, and to other men by endearing us to them. Grant then, Lord, that we may entirely flee from sin; that we may accustom ourselves to every virtue, through Thy grace. Yea, Master, Lord, without Thee we, “being evil,”²⁰ can do no good thing.

We must not be exasperated, angry, and proud, as is habitual to our corrupt nature, against those who are angry, envious, or proud towards us, but we must pity them as overcome by the flames of hell, and by spiritual death; we must pray to God for them from the depths of our hearts, that the Lord may take away the darkness from their souls and enlighten their hearts by the light of His grace. We are darkened by our own passions, and do not see the foolishness, the monstrousness of them, and of our conduct; but when the Lord enlightens us by the light of His grace, then we, awaking as from a sleep, clearly perceive the monstrousness, the foolishness of our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions; our heart, which was hardened until then, softens; the evil passes away and is replaced by mercy, kindness, and indulgence. Therefore, in accordance with our Saviour’s words, we must also love our enemies: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you,”²¹ for they, our brethren are also blind, have also gone astray.

This present life is a life of exile: “The Lord God,” it is said, “sent him forth from the garden of Eden;”²² and we, all of us, must earnestly strive to regain our country through repentance and works meet for repentance. Lord, “the desired fatherland give Thou to me, a citizen of Paradise me making once again.”²³ The present life is the narrow way, the way of afflictions, privations, and maladies. The narrower the way, the more convincing, the surer it is, that we are going the right, true way; the wider, the more certain it is that we are nigh to destruction. The present life is a daily, cruel, most bitter struggle against the enemies of our salvation, especially against the invisible, sub-celestial spirits of evil, who do not leave us in peace for a single day, but constantly make use of their craft and subtility against us, kindling various passions within us, and wounding us in the most acute manner by their shafts. Remember, therefore, that an incessant war is waged against us; that there is not time to rest, to enjoy, and amuse ourselves in this life, which is given us for our preparation for the future one; neither when we are tried by misfortunes; nor even then, when it seems to us we are perfectly easy and happy, as, for instance, when we give ourselves to pleasure at theatres or soirées, when we display ourselves in festive attire and ornaments, when we give ourselves up to the pleasures of the table, when we turn round in the gay dance, drive in fine equipages, etc. Amidst all your worldly pleasures, man, the greatest misfortune hangs over you. You are a sinner; you are God’s enemy; you are in great danger of losing eternal life, especially if you live negligently, if you do not do works meet for repentance. The wrath of God hangs over you, especially if you do not appease the God Whom you have offended by your prayers, penitence, and amendment. Thus, this is no time for you for pleasures, but rather for tears; your pleasures should be rare, and principally such as are afforded you by faith — in spiritual festivals.

God is an almighty power over all material worlds. More than that, He is a most wonderful, most merciful, and most just power over the spiritual world — that is, the world of angels and men. In His hands are all spirits, their peace and blessedness, as well as the anguish and torments of evil spirits and evil men.

As we sometimes blaspheme the Divinity by the impure, dark, and evil state of our soul — blaspheme the Father, the Word, and the Most Holy Ghost, the Comforter — so, on the contrary, some men, through the benign disposition of their souls, are capable of comforting all by their words, thus glorifying the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost the Comforter, “Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”²⁴

The Almighty Lord. His omnipotence embraces all creatures, the highest and the lowest, intellectual and sentient, angels and men, heaven and all that is therein, the earth and everything upon it, the sea and everything within it. His omnipotence absolutely embraces everything in general and every part of creation. Thus it embraces the heart of man and his thoughts; therefore it is said, “the king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord.”²⁵ This is also why the Apostle says, “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God.”²⁶ If God’s grace leaves my heart and my mind I become as the dust carried away by the wind, without any moral stability, with an inclination to every possible evil; both my mind and my heart become empty, trivial, dark, and powerless.

The Virgin Mary is the most merciful sovereign of all the sons and daughters of men, as the Daughter of God the Father, Who is love; the Mother of God the Word, of our love; the chosen bride of the Holy Ghost, Who is love consubstantial with the Father and the Word. How can we do otherwise than have recourse to such a sovereign and expect to receive all spiritual blessings from Her?

Firmly purpose in your soul to hate every sin of thought, word, and deed, and when you are tempted to sin resist it valiantly and with a feeling of hatred for it; only beware lest your hatred should turn against the person of your brother who gave occasion for the sin. Hate the sin with all your heart, but pity your brother; instruct him, and pray for him to the Almighty, Who sees all of us and tries our hearts and innermost parts. “Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.”²⁷ It is impossible not to often fall into sin unless you have a hatred of it implanted in your heart. Self-love must be eradicated. Every sin comes from the love of self. Sin always appears, or feigns to be, to wish us well, promising us plenteousness and ease. “The tree was good for food, and it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise.”²⁸ This is how sin always appears to us.

If guardian angels did not preserve us from the snares of evil demons, O how often we should have fallen from one sin into another; how devils would have tormented us — they who delight in tormenting men — which indeed happens when the Lord allows the guardian angels to withdraw themselves from us for a time, and devils lay snares for us. Yes, the angels of peace, our true guides, the guardians of our souls and bodies, are ever with us if we do not voluntarily drive them away from us by the abomination of sensuality, pride, doubt, and unbelief. We somehow feel that they cover us with the wings of their immaterial glory, only we do not see them. Our good thoughts, inclinations, words, and deeds, all proceed from them.

The enemy often wounds our souls by his malice and burns us. This wound spreads like a gangrene in the heart if we do not stop it in time by the sincere prayer of faith. And God wounds our souls by His love, but this wound is light, sweet, not burning, but warming and vivifying.

Concerning penitence. Penitence should be sincere, perfectly free, and not in any way forced by any particular time and habit, or by the person before whom the sinner confesses. Otherwise it would not be true penitence. It is said: “Repent ye; for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”²⁹ Is at hand — that is, it has come by itself. It is not necessary to seek for it long —it seeks us, our free inclination; that is, you yourself must repent with heartfelt contrition. “They were baptized of him” (is said of those baptized of John) “confessing their sins”³⁰; that is, they themselves acknowledged their sins. And as our prayer consists principally of penitence and asking forgiveness of our sins, it must absolutely be always sincere and perfectly free, not against our will, not forced out of us by habit and custom. Such also should be our prayer when it is one of thanksgiving and praise. Gratitude supposes the soul of the man benefited to be full of free, lively feeling flowing freely from the mouth, “for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”³¹ Praise, too, supposes an ecstasy of wonder in the man who contemplates the infinite goodness, wisdom, and omnipotence of God in the moral and material world, and therefore it ought also to be a perfectly free and intelligent action. In general, prayer should be a free and perfectly conscious outpouring of the man’s heart before God, “I have poured out my soul before the Lord.”³²

In order to purify and stimulate our prayer, the Lord allows the Devil to painfully inflame our inward parts, so that we, feeling a strange fire within us, and suffering from it, may endeavour to bring into our heart by means of humble prayer the fire of God, the fire of the Holy Ghost giving life to our hearts.

The Lord allows the enemy to tempt us in order to prove us, in order to strengthen our spiritual powers in our struggle against the enemy, and so that we ourselves may see more clearly towards what our heart inclines, whether it inclines to patience, hope, and love and in general to virtue, or to irritability, incredulity, murmuring, blasphemy, malice, and despair. Therefore we must not be despondent, but must good-humouredly and patiently bear spiritual darkness that descends upon our soul, the fire that weakens and inclines us to impatience and malice, the affliction and oppression, knowing that all these are indispensable in the order of our spiritual life, that by these the Lord is proving us. Do not let us blaspheme against the true way —the way of holy faith and virtue, and do not let us prefer the evil way. We are free, and must strengthen ourselves by every means and with all our power in faith and virtue, unto the laying down of our life³³ for the way of truth; and how can this be if we have no temptations?

The Devil strikes the hearts of priests with slothfulness, dryness, and barrenness, in order that they should not preach the truths of the Gospel to God’s people, should not tell them the entire Will of God. During prayer he also works upon the heart, and strikes it with insensibility, so that the prayer should not be sincere, but only said out of habit; he does not let the heart contemplate during prayer the greatness of all God’s perfections, the greatness of the Mother of God, that of the Angels, and of God’s Saints. The Devil is like a wicked, sharp-pointed needle, which, at every time and everywhere, gets into the eyes of your heart, dimming and eclipsing them; he is the poisonous dust which always flies about our spiritual atmosphere and settles corrosively upon our hearts, eating them up and piercing them. He acts in the same manner upon some teachers of religion, striking their hearts with dryness and oppression, in order that they may not teach God’s truths sympathetically to the young branches of Christ’s vine, nor water them with the life-giving streams of the Gospel.

Here is a society of men of the world: they go on talking and talking, for the greater part amusing themselves with trifles, and there is no mention of God — the common Father of all — of His love for us, of the future life, of recompense; why is it so? Because they are ashamed to speak of God. But what is still more surprising is that even persons deeming themselves pious, themselves luminaries, seldom speak of God, of Christ the Saviour, of the preciousness of time, of abstinence, of the resurrection from the dead, of judgment, of future bliss and everlasting torments, either in their family circle or amongst men of the world, but often spend their time in futile conversations, games, and occupations! This is, again, because they are ashamed to converse upon such subjects, being afraid to weary others, or fearing that they themselves may not be able to converse heartily upon spiritual subjects. O, adulterous and sinful world! Woe unto thee at the day of judgment by the universal and impartial Judge. “He came unto His own, and His own received Him not.”³⁴ Yes, the Lord and Creator of all is not received by us! He is not received into our houses, nor into our conversations; or, else, when a man reads a religious book or prayers aloud, why does he sometimes do so as if against his will, reluctantly, his tongue hesitating? His mouth speaketh not out of the abundance of the heart, but out of straitness and emptiness it can scarcely speak at all. Why is this so? It proceeds from the neglect of reading books and of prayer, and from false shame sown in the heart by the Devil. What miserable creatures we men are! We are ashamed of that which ought to be regarded as the highest honour. O, ungrateful and evil-natured creatures! What torments do we not deserve for such conduct.

When the enemy does not succeed in hindering the Christian upon the path of salvation by means of afflictions, oppression, poverty and various other privations, maladies, misfortunes, then he rushes to the other extreme: he fights against him by his own health, tranquillity, softness, the weakness of his heart, the insensibility of his soul to spiritual blessings, or by the opulence of his outer life. O, how dangerous is this last condition! It is more dangerous than the first state — the state of affliction, oppression, of sickness, etc. In such a state we easily forget God; we cease to feel His mercies; we slumber and spiritually sleep. “While the Bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept. And at midnight there was a cry made: Behold, the Bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet Him.”³⁵ But in affliction we involuntarily turn to God to be saved; we constantly feel that God is the God of our salvation — “the God Who saves” — that He is our life, our breath, our light, our strength. Thus, it is better for the Christian to live in some or other kind of affliction.

Prayer is— spiritual breathing; when we pray we breathe in the Holy Ghost; “praying in the Holy Ghost.”³⁶ Thus, all church prayers are — the breathing of the Holy Ghost; as it were spiritual air and also light, spiritual fire, spiritual food and spiritual raiment.

Holy Ghost, all we Christians are — Thy breath, Thy birth after baptism; by Thy first creative breathing into the person of the first man, we, all races of the earth, are — Thy breath, Thy birth! Have mercy upon us, raise us up, Holy Ghost! Drive away from us by Thy breathing the stench of our sins and passions, and uproot all our sinful inclinations!

During prayer always firmly believe and remember that every thought and word of yours may, undoubtedly, become deeds. “For with God nothing shall be impossible.”³⁷ “But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.”³⁸ This signifies that even your words shall not be without power. “All things are possible to him that believeth.”³⁹ Take heed of your words; the word is precious. “Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment”⁴⁰

The Word is the expression of the truth; the truth itself, being and deed. The Word precedes every being, every thing, as the cause of their being — past, present, or future. “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, Which is, and Which was, and Which is to come, the Almighty.”⁴¹ Thus speaks the creative Word of the Father. In Him — in the Word — is the cause of all creatures — present, past, and future.

Why do we honour the cross with such reverence that we make mention of its power in our prayers after asking for the intercession of the Mother of God and the heavenly Powers, before asking for that of the Saints, and sometimes even before asking for that of the heavenly Powers? Because, after the Saviour’s sufferings, the cross became the sign of the Son of man, that is, the cross signifies the Lord Himself, incarnate and suffering for our salvation. On the cross Christ offered Himself as a sacrifice to God the Father for our sins on the cross, and by it, He has saved us from the works of the enemy; and this is why we honour it with such great reverence. And therefore it will always be a great power for believers, delivering them from every evil, and especially from the evil action of invisible enemies.

As light, air, and water are found together and mutually penetrate each other and, at the same time, do not intermingle, each of them remaining what it was before; the light — remaining light, the air — air, and the water — water, each entirely preserving its own particular properties, but the substance forming one matter, so also, in a somewhat similar manner, the Persons of the Most Divine Trinity are always found together, and are not separated from each other. The Father is in the Son, and the Son in the Father, whilst the Holy Ghost proceedeth from the Father and resteth in the Son. But at the same time each Person has Its own particular properties: God the Father is not begotten, not created, does not proceed; the Son is begotten; the Holy Ghost proceeds from the Father, whilst the substance of the three Persons is one, a Divine, incomplex substance. This similarity is based upon the words of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, Who calls Himself the Light of the world, and thus speaks of the Holy Ghost, comparing It in Its actions to the element water: “He that believeth on Me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. But this spake He of the Spirit, which they that believe on Him should receive.”⁴² He also compared the Holy Ghost to the air or wind: “The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.”⁴³ The Holy Church sings of the Holy Ghost: “To the Holy Ghost belongs every all-saving cause: on whomsoever He, through worthiness doth breathe, He quickly taketh him from earthly things.”⁴⁴

It is the same to the Lord to give flesh to any creature He likes, either to an animal or a plant, as it would be to me to make a garment or clothing and put it on myself: “Thou hast clothed me with skin and flesh, and hast fenced me with bones and sinews.”⁴⁵ And what an infinite multitude and variety of material the Lord has, out of which He, the Creator, creates various clothing, of various shapes for His creatures (animals, birds, fishes, reptiles, insects)! And us He will eventually clothe with light, like unto of the sun in his kingdom! “Upon thy right hand did stand the queen in a vesture of gold.”⁴⁶ “Then shall the righteous shine forth, as the sun in the kingdom of their Father.”⁴⁷ And now we are clothed with the earth, water, air, warmth — such is our present clothing. And how wisely and conveniently all these elements are made and brought into union in our being! It is not heavy, and it is comely. O, Most-wise and Almighty Artist! Life-giving Artist! How beautiful, suitable, and animate is everything that Thou hast created! At Thy Will even the dust is animate, the dust moves!

The chief thing in prayer for which we must care above all is— lively, clear-sighted faith in the Lord: represent Him vividly before yourself and within you — then ask of Jesus Christ in the Holy Ghost whatever you desire and you will obtain it. Ask simply, without the slightest doubt — then your God will be everything to you, accomplishing in an instant great and wonderful acts, as the sign of cross, accomplishes great wonders. Ask for both spiritual and material blessings not only for yourself, but for all believers, for the whole body of the Church, not separating yourself from other believers, but in spiritual union with them, as a member of the one great body of the Church of Christ, and loving all, as your brethren or children in Christ, as the case may be. The heavenly Father will fill you with the great peace and boldness.

When praying, pay steadfast attention to the words of the prayer, feeling them in your heart. Do not withdraw your mind from them to any other thoughts. When praying during Divine service, during the celebration of the Sacraments and the singing of the prayers and hymns upon various occasions, lay surely to your heart the words themselves of the church prayers, believing, that not a single word is placed there in vain, that every one of them has its power, that in each word dwells the Holy Trinity the Lord Himself, “Who is everywhere present and fills all things”: think thus: — I myself am nothing, the Lord does everything. Also think: when I speak — God the Word, speaks in me. I need be careful for nothing. “Casting all your care,” it is said, “upon Him, for He careth for you.”⁴⁸

When you read a worldly magazine or newspaper, it is light and agreeable reading, you easily believe in everything in it. But if you take up a religious publication or book to read, especially one relating to church matters, or sometimes when you begin reading prayers — you feel a weight upon your heart, you are tormented by doubt and unbelief, and experience a sort of darkness and aversion. Many acknowledge this. From what does it proceed? Of course, not from the nature of the books themselves, but from the nature of the readers, from the nature of their hearts, and— chiefly — from the Devil, the enemy of mankind, the enemy of everything holy: “he taketh away the word out of their hearts.”⁴⁹ When we read worldly books, we do not touch him, and he does not touch us. But as soon as we take up religious books, as soon as we begin to think of our amendment and salvation, then we go against him, we irritate and torment him, and therefore he attacks us and torments us on his side. What can we do? We must not throw aside the good work, the reading or prayers that are profitable to our souls, but we must patiently endure, and in patience save our souls. “In your patience possess ye your souls,”⁵⁰ says the Lord. The same applies to theatres and churches, to the stage and Divine service. Many people find it pleasant to go to the theatre, and oppressive and dull to go to church. Wherefore? Because in the theatre everything is well suited to please the sensual man, and when we are there we do not provoke the Devil, but please him, and he, on his side, affords us pleasure, and does not touch us. Make merry, my friends, thinks he — laugh, only do not remember God. Whilst in the church everything is adapted to arouse faith and the fear of God, pious feelings, the feeling of our sinfulness and corruption; and the Devil sows in our hearts doubt, weariness, despondency, evil, impure and blasphemous thoughts — so that the man is not glad in himself, and cannot stand for even an hour, and he gets away as quickly as possible. The theatre and the church — are opposite contrasts. The one is the temple of the world, and the other the temple of God; the one is the temple of the Devil, and the other — the temple of the Lord.

When you are asked to pray that someone may be saved from bodily death, for instance, from drowning, from death through any sickness, from fire, or from any other disaster, commend the faith of those who ask you to do so, and say in yourself: Blessed be your faith, according to your faith may the Lord fulfil my unworthy, feeble prayer, and may He increase my faith.

You easily forgive yourself, if you have sinned against God, or against men; accordingly easily forgive other people too. Love your neighbour as yourself, forgive him much. “How oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven,”⁵¹ said the Lord. By this love is known. Even this is little for love to do: love loves its enemies, does good to them which hate it, blesses them that curse it, and prays for them which despitefully use it.⁵²

The Lord, unto Whom all hearts are open, knowing our avarice and trivial, covetous calculation in those cases, when we have to show hospitality and kindness to people, from whom we do not expect to receive the equivalent, — has promised to remunerate us in the day of judgment, not only for having given food to the hungry, drink to the thirsty, for having visited the sick and those in prison, but He has promised a reward even for a cup of cold water, given to a Christian or to an unbeliever in His name. “Whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only,.... verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.”⁵³ O, the loving-kindness, and mercy of Christ! Who, after this, will not be ashamed of the hardness of his heart, and his shameful avarice!

The Devil, as a spirit, as an incomplex being, can hinder and wound the soul by a single instantaneous movement of the thought of wickedness, of doubt, blasphemy, impatience, irritation, malice, by an instantaneous movement of any attachment of the heart to anything earthly, by a movement of intuitive sight, adultery and other passions— he can fan the spark of sin, with the cunning and malice peculiar to him, into a flame, raging with infernal strength within the man. We must stand fast and strengthen ourselves by every means in God’s truth, rejecting the lies, illusions, and malice of the Devil, at their very beginning. In such cases, the man should be all watchfulness, all eyes, hard as adamant, invincible in every part, firm and invulnerable. O, Glory, glory to Thy victory, Lord! Thus may I conquer, by the power of Thy might, the invisible and visible enemies, all the days of my life, until my last breath. Amen. O, simplicity of faith, do not leave me.

Do not have any partiality, not only either for food and drink, for dress, for a spacious and richly decorated dwelling, for the luxurious furniture of your house, but not even for your health, do not even have the least partiality for your life, give up all your life to the Will of the Lord, saying: “for, to me to live — is Christ and to die — is gain.”⁵⁴ “He that hateth his life in this world, shall keep it unto life eternal.”⁵⁵ Attachment to the temporary life, to one’s own health, leads to many deviations from God’s Commandments, to the indulgence of the flesh, to breaking the fasts, to evading the conscientious fulfilment of the duties connected with our service, to despondency, impatience, irritability. Never sleep before saying evening-prayers, lest your heart should become gross from ill-timed sleep, and lest the enemy should hinder it by a stony insensibility during prayer. “Be sober, be vigilant.”⁵⁶ “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation.”⁵⁷ “Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of Man cometh.”⁵⁸ “Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cock-crowing, or in the morning: lest coming suddenly He find you sleeping. And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch.”⁵⁹

Pray, my brethren, to the Mother of God when the storm of enmity and malice bursts forth in your house. She, Who is all-merciful and all-powerful, can easily pacify the hearts of men. Peace and love proceed from the one God, as from their Source, and Our Lady— in God, as the Mother of Christ the Peace, is zealous, and prays for the peace of the whole world, and above all — of all Christians. She has the all-merciful power of driving away from us at Her sign the subcelestial spirits of evil — those ever-vigilant and ardent sowers of enmity and malice amongst men, whilst to all who have recourse with faith and love to Her powerful protection, She soon speedily gives both peace and love. Be zealous yourselves also in preserving faith and love in your hearts; for if you do not care for this, then you will be unworthy of the intercession for you — of the Mother of God; be also most fervent and most reverent worshippers of the Mother of the Almighty Lord; for it is truly meet to bless Her — the ever-blessed; the entirely spotless Mother of our God, the highest of all creatures, the Mediatrix for the whole race of mankind. Strive to train yourself in the spirit of humility, for She Herself was more humble than any mortal, and only looks lovingly upon the humble. “He hath regarded the low estate of His handmaiden” (said She to Elisabeth), of “God, Her Saviour.”⁶⁰

Do not let the Devil sow enmity and malice in your heart against your neighbour; do not let these feelings nestle in any way in your heart; otherwise your malice, even if not expressed in words, but shown only in your glance, may infect through sight the soul of your brother also (for nothing is so infectious as malice, it easily infects especially those, who have in their hearts an abundance of unslumbering malice), and fans the spark of evil in them into a whole flame. Be watchful: “with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”⁶¹ “For, nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither anything hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.”⁶²

Cultivate the Christian art of doing good, of heartily blessing those who curse you, by which you will please your Lord Christ, Who said: “Bless them that curse you. Love your enemies” sincerely, not regarding their enmity — but respecting in them the image of God, according to which they are created, and seeing in them your own self. “Do good to them which hate you,” as the Son of the heavenly Father, Who is kind even “unto the unthankful and to the evil,” believing that you will overcome evil with good, because good is always more powerful than evil. “Pray for them which despitefully use you,” so that through your prayer you may save them also, by God’s grace, from the evil malice and the snares of the Devil, and save yourself too from misfortune. “Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again,”⁶³ for everything comes from God, and, should the Lord will, He can take everything away from you. Remember, that you yourself have come naked out of your mother’s womb, and naked shall you return thither,⁶⁴ and shall not take anything away with you. If you will thus live, you will gain for yourself the priceless treasure of peace and love, and shall live long on the earth: for “the meek-spirited,” it is said, “shall possess the earth: and shall be refreshed in the multitude of peace.”⁶⁵

I look to Thee alone, Lord, with my spiritual vision. I believe in Thee undoubtingly. Thou Thyself knowest how and what to give me. Thou art — the treasury of every blessing, Thou art — mercy, wisdom, and omnipotence abundantly flowing upon all creatures. Thus I also look to Thee, O Holy Virgin. “Intercede for and have mercy upon me Thyself!”

Do not grow despondent and enfeebled in spirit, seeing the constant struggle within you of evil against good, but like a good and valiant soldier of Jesus Christ, our great Founder, struggle courageously against evil, looking at the crown, prepared by the Lord for all who conquer evil in this world and in their flesh. “To him that overcometh, will I grant to sit with Me in My Throne.”⁶⁶

In order not to remember the malice of your neighbour against you, but to pardon him with all your soul, remember, that you, yourself, are not free from malice, as well as from all other passions. Recognise your neighbour’s infirmities and passions as your own: “forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”⁶⁷ O, how sinful I am, how loathsome I am by my sins in the eyes of God, of men, and even in mine own! Who can be more loathsome to me than myself? Truly nobody; in comparison to me all are righteous. I must be unmercifully angry with myself, and must consider it a special happiness to forgive my neighbour’s trespasses and offences against me, an unworthy one, so that the long-suffering, bountiful, and merciful Lord may forgive me even some of my trespasses. I must remember, that it is only by this that I can become deserving of the Lord’s mercy to me, otherwise I ought long to have ceased to live.

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